“Les Miserables” Movie Review – Zombie Style

I’m a huge fan of Les Miserables, so I had to see the new movie version. I read the book ages ago, but watching the movie is a whole other experience. Naturally, being the zombie-lover that I am, I had to insert zombies into the plot.

If Les Miserables was a zombie movie, this is how I think it should have turned out:

Turn: I suppose it would have been nice to see Fantine (played by Anne Hathaway) turn into a zombie. It’s not that I don’t like Fantine (everyone likes Fantine), but I think she would have had a better life as a zombie. Her character really got screwed, literally and figuratively, and she would’ve been much better off undead. That way she would have at least had a decent meal once in a while as there was plenty of human flesh to be had.

Get Eaten: I think Cosette (played by Amanda Seyfried) should have been eaten by a zombie. I know she’s everyone’s favorite, but I always thought that Eponine got the short end of the stick. If Cosette was picked off early, then Eponine could have had Marius all to herself, and they would have lived happily ever after (well, at least until Eponine got shot).

Kill: I would have liked to see Javert (played by Russell Crowe) kill a zombie. You have to feel bad for him because he pretty much wasted his life tracking down a man who he ended up freeing. Maybe if Javert got to kill a zombie or two, he would have chosen to live. Plus, it would have been nice to see Russell Crowe take out a few zombies gladiator-style.

I give Les Miserables 4 out of 5 brains.

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