“The Hangover Part III” Movie Review – Zombie Style

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Verdict: it was far better than the second movie, but not nearly as good as the original. The first Hangover was hilarious, but the second one was just an unfunny imitation of the original. But the third one stood on its own with a unique storyline. Zach Galifianakas and Ken Jeong really carried the movie. They’re a great team. If you enjoyed the original Hangover, then I recommend giving the third one a try. You don’t have to see it in the theater though; watching it on DVD will be just as good.

While I did enjoy the movie, I couldn’t help thinking that it would have been much better if it was a zombie movie: “Zombie Hangover III.” That has a nice ring to it! So if The Hangover Part III was a zombie movie, I think this is how it should have turned out:

Turn: I would have liked to see Alan (played by Zach Galifianakis) turn into a zombie. It’s not that I wish him any harm, but he would have been a hilarious shuffling corpse. Alan constantly got into trouble, and it would have been nice to see him use his trouble-making in a useful manner, like for tearing people apart and eating their flesh (very constructive).

Get Eaten: I wouldn’t have minded seeing Phil (played by Bradley Cooper) get eaten by a zombie. He just looked delicious. If I were a zombie, I wouldn’t have minded taking a big bite out of him. I would have even eaten that Diesel shirt he was wearing. Was it Diesel?

Kill: I would have wanted to see Stu (played by Ed Helms) kill a zombie. I really wanted to see Stu toughen up a little in the third movie, but he really didn’t seem to grow at all (not that anyone watches these types of movies for the character development). Nevertheless, it would have been nice to see Stu take out a zombie or two. He wouldn’t have had to do anything fancy: just a couple headshots with a handgun would have done the trick. Maybe there will be a Hangover Part IV, and Stu will have a chance to kick some ass!

I give The Hangover Part III 3.5 out of 5 brains.

Jordan’s Brains: A Zombie Evolution

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“Jordan’s Brains: A Zombie Evolution” is now available on Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Jordans-Brains-A-Zombie-Evolution/dp/1482313502/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1369446953&sr=8-6&keywords=jordan%27s+brains

I had a blast turning my zombie obsession into something productive. I’ve watched countless zombie movies, and I spend my daily ride on the metro devouring zombie novels. I had read so many zombie books that I eventually decided to write my own novel about walking corpses.

My book is about a psychopath who’s obsessed with zombies. Jordan has been preparing for the zombie apocalypse since childhood and is thrilled when the zombies finally invade. Everyone is born with a purpose, and Jordan’s main goal in life is to save humans from the infected undead. With a bug-out bag and a satisfied grin, Jordan wanders alone into the zombie-infested streets to help family and strangers alike. Everything seems perfect until Jordan’s loved ones start dying, and Jordan has to face the harsh reality that the zombie apocalypse isn’t going exactly as planned.

Choosing my main character’s gender was a tough decision for me. I wanted to avoid using gender stereotypes while crafting my zombie-obsessed protagonist. My favorite thing about zombies is that they’re all equally terrifying. Male or female, young or old, dark or light: it doesn’t matter. All zombies are created equal. So I decided to write the story without assigning a gender to the main character, which allowed me to focus on Jordan’s brain rather than his/her sex. Originally, I was going to reveal Jordan’s gender at the end of the book, but I honestly couldn’t decide if I wanted Jordan to be male or female. I’d like to think that it doesn’t matter.

I had so much fun writing “Jordan’s Brains.” Creating my own world of zombies was so rewarding, and it has made me appreciate other zombie novels even more than I used to. If you’re a fan of zombie stories, I hope you enjoy my take on the zombie apocalypse.

“The Great Gatsby” Movie Review – Zombie Style

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Loved it! The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite (non-zombie) books, and I was so excited when I heard it was being remade. It got quite a few bad reviews, and some movie critics complained that it was nothing but a two-hour music video. I strongly disagree. The Great Gatsby was masterfully redone, and I really enjoyed the over-the-top party scenes. The script stuck to the original story, except for putting Nick Carraway in a Sanitorium to tell Gatsby’s tale, which was a nice touch. Even if you haven’t read the book, you’ll enjoy seeing The Great Gatsby. I recommend seeing it on the big screen (3D probably isn’t necessary though – I still haven’t been sold on the 3D scam yet).

I’m hoping that when the copyright on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s greatest novel expires, someone will write “The Great Gatsby and Zombies.” I would love to read that story. However, until then, I’ll have to settle for adding zombies into the storyline in my head, which is always fun. If The Great Gatsby was a zombie movie, this is how it should have turned out:

Turn: I think Jordan Baker (played by Elizabeth Debicki) should have turned into a zombie. She didn’t have a huge role in the movie, but I’m pretty sure she would have been a badass zombie. She didn’t seem to care what anyone thought of her, so she could have torn apart her fellow New Yorkers without feeling any remorse. And everyone knows that golfers make great zombies. They’re accustomed to aimlessly shuffling around grassy areas all the live-long day.

Get Eaten: I think Tom Buchanan (played by Joel Edgerton) should have been eaten by zombies. Not just one zombie, mind you, but a whole horde of zombies. I would have liked to see them tear Tom limb from limb after one of his “sprees.” Honestly, who would cheat on Daisy? She’s an angel!

Kill: I would have loved to see Jay Gatsby (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) kill a zombie. I always root for the most eccentric characters in movies, and I felt sorry for Gatsby because he got screwed over, so it would have been really nice to see him do something awesome (other than host opulent parties). He could have bashed in a zombie’s brains quite easily with that walking stick he was so fond of. And I’m sure he had one of those 1920’s gangster guns handy at all times. Aim for the head, Old Sport!

I give The Great Gatsby 5 out of 5 brains.